According to Dr. Esther Perel, desire comes from a need for reliability, permanence and security but an equally strong need for adventure, risk and the unknown. These elements in a passionate marriage become contradictory and must be reconciled. How do we get from our partner what once a village would provide?
In love we want to have but in desire we want a bridge to cross.
There is no neediness in desire. There is no care taking.
We find ourselves most desiring our partner in 3 situations:
1. When they are away. When we reunite. When we can imagine ourselves with our partner and can root it in absence and longing.
2. When our partner is doing something they are passionate about, being radiant and confident. When our partner is somewhat mysterious and elusive.
3. When as couple we laugh together or when we are surprised by our partner. Novelty is being brought out.
Desire comes from:
How do you maintain desire in your relationship?
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